vegas impressions - gambling, hotels, feminism
It was almost all slot machines. I’d expected row after row of card tables, craps tables, roulette wheels. Had it always been this way or is Vegas going the autoteller route? I won $30 at roulette if you don’t count against it the $5 chip I dropped on the floor. Everyone at the table graciously and immediately descended to hands and knees to help me look for it – even while I, at first, merely stepped back from the table and glanced forlornly toward the ground. Even the dealer appeared heartbroken by my loss, apologizing again and again for the rules that prevented him from giving me a replacement chip. Sweet, but kind of disturbing.
The casinos all appeared as ugly and cheap as they really are -- unlike some of the hotels, restaurants, and clubs which at least make an effort to look as “classy” as they pretend to be. So much about Vegas attempts to project an air of “exclusivity”, to convince you that you’re having the kind of experience that someone famous or rich might have. To be fair, many such places are indeed well-designed. One very dim lounge I spent a bit of time in boasted UFO-shaped walls (i.e., as if you’re inside of a UFO – the walls curve inward, in a UFO kind of way) illuminated by the indirect light of an almost-hidden red LED display that ran behind the furniture (i.e., the display was oriented parallel to the floor so that it cast its light upward). Nice. But the truth is you’re not in an “exclusive” place at all – you’re sitting next to a bunch of drunk tourists and people on business trips just like yourself.
Speaking of this particular bar, we discovered a small stage inside upon which a barely-clothed woman danced. No surprise there, but what shocked me is that it seemed many of the women in our party tried to find her as interesting as the men appeared to find her. “She’s such a good dancer – isn’t she interesting to watch?” “Look at her figure – I wonder how much she works out.” I realized I'm being somewhat presumptuous by assuming that they weren't interested -- but their tone of voice struck me as not too different from my tone of voice when I attempt to have a conversation about sports. I asked them whether or not they’d prefer to see a male dancer, at least alongside or in addition to the female dancer -- adding that I would prefer to watch a male dancer. They seemed to think my comment was vaguely cute but I might as well have asked “wouldn’t it be great if there were world peace?”. Keep dreaming, shut up, and at least have to the courtesy to pretend to enjoy the show. When I was in college about 5-6 years ago, “post-feminism” was just starting to become trendy in certain circles. I don’t know whether or not its still trendy or whether things have shifted even further right among young people who live wide-eyed in a squeaky-clean present free of the irrelevant gunk of history but sometimes I wish I could record such moments and broadcast them back in time to the point at which feminism was just starting to become a dirty word . . .
8 Comments:
Oh, Jay, I'm sorry you had to go to that bar.
I would have died, & I don't even call myself a "feminist." (It's the word for me, but as a "humanist" I would be kind of embarrassed/offended watching anyone dance on a table.)
Shoot, as a person with eyes I would be offended/embarrassed.
And maybe it's not even "humanism." Maybe it's just creature-ism. I used to work at an animal shelter & had similar responses to keeping the dogs & cats in cages.
So maybe it's the table.
And the display.
As a woman I feel like taking it all with as much salt as I can & subverting what I can, in small & perhaps almost unnoticeable ways.
But watch for those!
Let us know about grad school!
Thanks for your thoughts on this, Laura. A desire to distance oneself from the word "feminism" makes sense to me inasmuch as that word could/would be used to immediately discredit one's positions. But how did it get to such a point -- and with the apparent complicity of the generation that would have been expected to carry "feminism" forward, to elaborate it further?
Maybe this is where my historical ignorance shows.
It does make a bit of superficial sense from an a rejection-of-identity-politics perspective -- if binary oppositions are part of the problem, then doesn't a label like "feminism" make the problem worse? -- but it was my impression that those who sought to distance themselves from the label about the same time that Rush Limbaugh coined the term "feminazi" rejected much more than just a label.
Frankly, I think we desperately need a resurgence of in-your-face feminisms that aren't afraid call themselves what they are and won't let up the pressure until women make as much as men for the same amount of work, aren't sent to prison for successfully defending themselves against assaults from spouses, and so on. But it's one of those things that would have to happen in great numbers in order to be effective . . . and maybe my thinking is just fundamentally naive and wrongheaded here anyway.
Until then, at least, I'll certainly keep an eye out for the subtler, and perhaps equally effective, subversions . . . :)
No, you're not naive, I think I am, & it's not a gender thing, it's me. My dad's kind of natured like me. :)
Or me like him?
:)
I'm glad we can talk about this here.
I think as a heterosexual woman I feel drawn toward certain things, which are perhaps bad versions of Las Vegas, if more subtle. I'm drawn to a certain kind of "rocker": it's kind of embarrassing. I'm not sure how this plays into my work as a writer but am playing, for the first time, on & off the blog, with ideas about "what I look like" & how that effects people. It's kind of a big joke. But the fact that I can joke about it is sort of nice. To be perhaps too personal, I have a strange relationship with my looks; my mom was a model, etc. So it all hits home for me in a strange & (to use a pincher word) poignant way.
So my relationship to the words & the ideas behind them are based on a simple life: mine. And much of it springs from my relationship to pop culture & its ideals. It's a visual relationship, I think. I've never been as fraught over the conceptual level, "being smart," etc. I was given the artistic/intellectual role to play as a kid, so I've fairly stubbornly pursued that most of my life, perhaps too stubbornly, I think.
In terms of feminism/humanism (the latter term's historical implications notwithstanding) I think on this visual level & also on a social one. There's a guy on American Idol right now who breaks my heart because he's kind of overweight & plain, in a "pop star" sense, & they've set him up as the "pity vote." It works both ways, I think. And then there are obvious manifestations of demonization: I think black men are treated much worse than white women in many ways now. I have a difficult time not wanting to extend "social justice" to include & perhaps "subsume" the binary. It's just a word.
In terms of Rush Limbaugh, well, he's deaf now. He's going to miss out on a lot of great aural art. I pity him, & I'm sorry he's had what I presume to be a pretty unhappy life. (?) I don't know.
For what it's worth, this is just my daily thought. & it's a bit of a "feminism," if I may revive that with you & for you, seeing that we're talking about an... "it."
Please be good to yrself!
With love,
Laura
Thank you for this conversation, Laura. I don't know if I have a significant point to make, but a few things are going through my mind after reading your comments. One is that while I tend to at least believe I'm pretty good at imagining myself in the shoes of others, I can't deny that a huge part of "what it's like" to grow up female will always be opaque to me (similarly, I suppose, some aspect of what it's like to grow up heterosexual -- or even another race or in another culture will always be opaque to me). A friend with whom I discussed the Vegas bar event insisted that I hadn't witnessed anything uncommon, that there are numerous places and events in which women are objectified for the sake of the male gaze, but which are nevertheless attended by mixed crowds. "I can't imagine that I'd not have a problem with that, if I were a woman", I said. "It's not popular to have a problem with it," she replied. Ah. So maybe it's not even just about who gets objectified - maybe it's also about who has the luxury of "having a problem" with something without risking loss of social capital or credibility . . . And you mention family roles, that the relationship of pop to your writing and self is itself perhaps related to the artistic/intellectual role you were given to play as a kid - and it strikes me that this role would probably, in most families, be a fundamentally different thing for a girl than it would for a boy.
It's been awhile since I've read any feminist theory, but it seems, from what I recall, that the notion that women's liberation would have to include liberation of other oppressed people in order to be complete was a pretty pervasive notion. I think a strong version of this argument might have taken the form of asserting the domination of women (or at least the production of hierarchical gender roles) as the primary domination upon which all others are based.
Pop is something I've always had a bewildered relationship toward. While I tend to be a pretty self-conscious person in terms of "shyness", I also tended to be rather unaware of myself as a socially projected image. Something about writing does engage this notion of image, come to think of it - in ways that are sometimes curious/playful and sometimes angry/confrontational, sometimes surface, sometimes background . . . and then there are the various notions of what "pop" means (e.g., pop art and pop music do have something in common, but they're not simply the same adjective applied to two different realms, either). Not sure how to think about all these differences, at the moment . . .
I know I'm pretty privileged, & to talk in terms of "subversion" rather than "survival" is pretty unique to "us" (insert upper-?middle-class nominal here).
I do feel kind of weird talking about it, too, because I'm generally pretty shy as well, and as a writer, I have to overcome that to some extent (not to be afraid to say the thing).
Again, I'm not sure how to address this except, well, "humanistically." Treat others (men & women, colors of the rainbow, etc.) with respect. Be honest. Sounds like a hokey PBS cartoon but I'm not sure that that bothers me.
Work for what feels necessary?
It's difficult to say. My luxuries greatly outweigh my issues, really. I've been fortunate. I think that's about all I can say on the matter.
Subversion suddenly feels like a cop-out, a distraction, if it's egregious. I'm also not sure that I'm capable of it.
Be at peace.
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